God and Girl Scouts

Copyright: prawny / 123RF Stock Photo

"We're just trying to include everyone," said the staff member.

"That's impossible," I replied. "You can't sing a grace that will satisfy all beliefs of a diverse group of hundreds of volunteers."

"Well, these are approved," she said.

I looked down at the lyrics in my hand. Johnny Appleseed included "...and so I thank the earth..."

I'm a Catholic. This was at best not a grace and, at worst, in direct conflict with the First Commandment.

I had been honored when I was asked to lead the grace at the volunteer recognition dinner, but now it seemed I'd have to bow out.

"Look, if I'm going to lead the grace, it can't be something that I consider pagan. I know everyone doesn't believe in God. All I ask is that they respect those who do. You're welcome to find someone else who will sing what's on this page and I'll respect that. But if you are seriously afraid of offending anyone then you shouldn't have a grace at all."

In today's society, we often choose that last option. We hide our beliefs in a closet, because we've reached a point where it can offend someone to simply be reminded that we don't all have the same belief system.

...To serve God and my country,...

God is in our promise. Girl Scouts allows individuals to substitute another word for God, based on their own spiritual beliefs, and in consultation with family and faith leaders. Girl Scouts is a secular organization which does not promote specific religious beliefs or practices.

So how does God fit into the program?

Through service and a dose of religious tolerance. Schools and society often shy away from this. Pretending that religion doesn't exist or that we all share exactly the same beliefs doesn't help our girls to respect their own faith as well as those of others.

Merriam-Webster defines tolerance as willingness to accept feelings, habits, or beliefs that are different from your own.
The Museum of Tolerance definition is A fair and objective attitude toward those whose opinions and practices differ from one's own. The commitment to respect human dignity.

Tolerance is agreeing to disagree. Tolerance doesn't mean that you can't practice your religion because it might offend someone. It is exactly the opposite. Tolerance means not to be offended that someone else is practicing a different religion than you. That is true religious freedom, serving both God and country.

How can we promote religious tolerance with our girls? The first step is allowing them to share their faith within the troop. This doesn't mean proselytizing. For young girls it might just mean sharing their holiday traditions during their faith's important holidays. Older girls may share the deeper tenets of their beliefs or compare teachings on a specific issue. It's important that the girls understand that the point is not to change anyone's mind or judge anyone else's beliefs, just to understand and accept the religious diversity around them.

Discussing religion in the troop can be a sensitive issue. If you are planning a program activity on religious sharing and tolerance, be sure to follow your council's guidelines for parental notification and consent. Sometimes, especially with older girls, these topics may just come up in conversation. Keep your ears open, and be sure parents are notified if anything occurs that might be considered sensitive to them.

You can also help girls deepen their own faith and tie it to Girl Scouting with religious recognitions.

I did lead grace at that volunteer recognition. I don't remember which grace I sang. I'm sure that it was acceptable to me and most others, but almost certainly didn't represent everyone in the room. Everyone stood respectfully, even if they disagreed. That's what I want to teach my girls.

What makes a uniform?

Recently I ran a race with water stops manned by Girl Scouts. When three girls all smile brightly with cups of water extended, you hate the fact that you only need one cup. You make a quick, possibly subconscious, decision about whose water to grab, thank them, and keep running.
At this race, the first water stop was manned by brownies--evident from their brown sashes and vests. I cheered for Girl Scouts as I passed through and grabbed the water that seemed most convenient.

The second water stop was manned by older girls. I really love seeing older scouts at public events. So many people seem unaware that Girl Scouting extends past elementary school, so it's great when older girls are visible. The first girl I saw was wearing a blue T-shirt with her troop number in large letters on the back. Another girl wore a similar, but different colored T-shirt, and a third wore a white shirt with an official sash. I cheered for them, "Yay! Older girls!" then ran straight to the girl wearing the sash. As I grabbed the water I cheerily said, "I'll take the girl in uniform." As I continued along the race route, behind me I heard the girl in the blue T-shirt mutter, "This is my uniform."

That got me thinking about uniforms. Why was it important in that situation for a girl to be in a sash as opposed to a troop T-shirt?

What is the official uniform?
From the Girl Scouts website:
Girl Scouts at each level now wear one required element (tunic, sash, or vest) for the display of official pins and awards. Girls can mix and match pieces from the official Girl Scout collection to complete the uniform, or add items from their own wardrobes. 
On another page:
Girl Scouts at each level have one required element (tunic, sash or vest) for the display of official pins and awards, which will be required when girls participate in ceremonies or officially represent the Girl Scout Movement.

Officially, a troop T-shirt is not considered a uniform. While girls may wear their membership pin with other clothing, the sash or vest is required to actually be in uniform.

What purpose does the uniform serve?
As indicated on the GSUSA website, one purpose of the uniform is to display official pins and awards. Why do we display badges? It is not to boast of our accomplishments. Juliette Low said ...You wear the badge to let people know that you are prepared and willing to be called on because you are a Girl Scout... Badges show others what you can do in service for them.

Merriam-Webster defines uniform as dress of a distinctive design or fashion worn by members of a particular group and serving as a means of identification.
By this definition and as indicated by GSUSA, the uniform is used to identify our movement and show that we represent Girl Scouting.

Let's play the Identify a Girl Scout game. I invented this game about 15 years ago when GSUSA was looking critically at their uniform system. At that time, both girls and adults were debating what an official uniform should be, with opinions varying from a completely matching outfit to troop T-shirts with a membership pin. To form my own opinion, I started looking at pictures that troops had submitted for publication or on the internet and asked myself this question - "If I were a member of the general public and saw this group, would I immediately identify them as Girl Scouts?"

Here are some links to pictures* so you can play along.
1) Here is the holy grail. Girl Scouts all in matching formal components.
http://www.darientimes.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/31/2013/07/Darien-Girl-Scouts-Gold.jpg
2) This is more often the reality. How many Girl Scouts do you see in this picture?
https://www.bnl.gov/today/body_pics/2012/10/girl-scouts-group-shot-1-720px.jpg
3) How many Girl Scouts in this one?
https://www.gsnnj.org/ShareYourStory/2014_8_5_12_11_52_85_PenPalpicture.JPG
4) Girl Scouts or some other youth group?
http://gsoh.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/2014-KJ-creeking.jpg

After quite a bit of this sort of thing, I came to the same conclusion that GSUSA did--what makes us look like Girl Scouts are badges and insignia, not the underlying outfit. Hence, the only uniform necessary is a badge or sash. Of course, a troop will look far more formal if they also coordinate the blouse and skirt or pants, but that's not necessary for public identification as Girl Scouts.

What to wear when
Younger girls are generally very happy to wear their uniforms, whereas older girls often are more reluctant. Understanding the uniform's purpose can help convince them to wear what is appropriate.

• Official Uniform - sash or vest, coordinate other components based on the formality of the situation and budgetary constraints.
  Since the uniform is about public identification and letting people know your skills, it should be worn whenever you are in the public eye or are likely to get media coverage of your activities. This includes community service (like the water stop at the race), cookie sales, when traveling on public transportation (subways, planes, trains, etc.), or at ceremonies or public events.
• Matching Clothing - troop T-shirts or similar
  Great for troop identification, but this usually leaves the public saying "were those Girl Scouts?" This is especially useful at gatherings of multiple troops. It can make it easier to identify your girls in a sea of other Girl Scouts. Throw a sash over it when you need to be official.
• Street Clothes - whatever the girls own that meets the needs of the activity
  Troop meetings, camping trips, or other non-public activities don't require uniforms. In addition, some program activities will not be safe with a loose sash or vest, so in those cases troop T-shirts or street clothes are called for.

I love talking to Girl Scouts that I meet, but the first step is knowing they are Girl Scouts and uniforms make that possible.

Smitty

*I used links instead of embedding the pictures to avoid copyright and privacy issues. I linked to the picture only so you would be seeing them without context to focus on the uniform issue. These are all pictures from public internet sites.

Girl Leadership Progression

I know someone whose daughter will be bridging up to Seniors this year. I recently had a conversation with her about the troop's Silver Award project. The girls had successfully planned a wonderful video project but their video production skills were unknown. Time was running short and it was unclear how much guidance the leaders should provide at this point.

As leaders, we hear over and over that Girl Scouting is a girl led activity. But this means something different at each level. What is the appropriate level of adult involvement? How can we help girls grow into successful leaders through a reasonable progression and step away at the right moments?

Daisies and Brownies
Young girls need to know that they have a say in the troop program. This prepares them for greater leadership experiences later on. The Daisy and Brownie rings give girls an opportunity to express their ideas and vote for their choices. At this level, the leader should be leading the discussions and implementing the program, but letting the girls make choices to define what that program will be. The youngest daisies may simply be presented with two choices to vote between, while older brownies could hold a brainstorming session and then whittle down the ideas with a series of votes. Giving girls simple responsibilities with adult supervision also prepares them to take over greater control later on.

Juniors
Juniors should begin taking actual leadership responsibilities. This often takes the form of having girls serve as liaisons between the adult leadership and the girls. Adult leaders work with the girl leadership to prepare agendas and discussion topics and then let the girls lead small groups through the agenda. The patrol system is the most common way of implementing this. Small patrols give girls a chance to practice leading a group without it being overwhelming. The court of honor provides an opportunity for the troop leader to role model to the girl leaders how to run a meeting and facilitate discussion. As Juniors grow, you can gradually expand the extent of decision making and responsibility that is expected of each girl leader and her patrol. Make sure to give every girl a turn at each patrol position. This is necessary for them to understand all of the important roles on a decision making team.

Cadettes
Cadettes are undoubtedly the toughest level to juggle girl leadership at. It is important to remember that they're not done yet. You are still the leader. Most cadette troops if left entirely to lead themselves will simply have a social gab session at every meeting. Is this wrong? No, girls at this age need a lot of social sessions, but that alone won't meet the full potential that the girls have to grow through this level. The trick is exerting enough leadership to help the girls find activities that excite and interest them and follow those paths, while letting the girls explore on their own as much as possible. I know a few long-term Cadette leaders that I greatly admire. These women are experts at keeping the girls enthusiastic about trying challenging program adventures and stretching themselves to their limit. High adventure activities or leading younger girls can be wonderful leadership opportunities. The best Cadette leaders know how to nudge the girls in this direction, then provide constant guidance as the girls plan and lead the activity themselves.

Seniors and Ambassadors
Your title now changes from leader to advisor. If the foundation has been properly set, the girls will be ready to establish their own troop government, lead their own brainstorming, and implement their own program. Nevertheless, you still have an important role. The troop advisor will need to keep very close track of the girl leadership. Regular Court of Honor or Executive Board meetings will now be girl run, but will also be the forum for you to help them handle leadership problems and determine what logistical support they need from the troop's adult volunteers. You are also an important line of communication between the troop and the council. Program activity opportunities will still be something you have access to and need to give the girls. As the girls prepare to bridge to adults, get them involved in as much of the adult role as possible, without breaching privacy or safety concerns. This will let them know that you respect their leadership skills and make them ready to take on adult leadership roles.

Let them make mistakes
Perhaps the most difficult aspect of girl leadership is allowing them to make mistakes. When girls are leading and making the decisions the program won't be perfect. It might not be anything that you were hoping for. But those moments when poor decisions led to putting up tents in the dark in the rain, or eating half-cooked potatoes for dinner, or leading unplanned songs with brownies for half an hour, those are the moments the girls will cherish, remember, and learn from. Just be sure to step in if they need some organizational guidance, and especially if something is unsafe.

I've been gratified by girls coming back from college, lamenting the lack of leadership in their non-scout peers. They end up leading their college organizations because they have these skills. And those leadership roles bring them greater respect and influence in their adult dealings. With the proper progression, the girls will gradually take the reins solidly to guide the troops destiny.

I hope my friend's troop finishes their Silver Project, but even if they don't, they'll learn something from the experience that will help them grow into more effective leaders in their Senior Troop.

Smitty

Making the world a better place

Girl Scout Mission

Girl Scouting builds girls of courage, confidence, and character, who make the world a better place.

The final facet of the mission statement is to make the world a better place. Since it's inception, Girl Scouting has challenged girls to provide service to their community. The current journey materials and Bronze, Silver, and Gold awards all focus on meeting this part of the mission statement.

What to do?
Perhaps the hardest part of making the world a better place is deciding where to start. Chances are your girls have all sorts of ideas and the trick will be whittling the list down into something manageable and age appropriate. It's a good idea to keep the focus local, especially with young scouts. Global concerns often get more media attention and are certainly important, but children need to know that many injustices happen right in their own neighborhood and they can be a part of fixing that. Here is a nice internet resource with some guidelines for making the world better close to home and globally.

Because it's the right thing to do
While Girl Scout program materials offer numerous opportunities for service, it's also important that girls understand that the goal of service is to serve, not to earn recognition. This means ensuring that the troop participate in some service projects without any external motivating reward. Extrinsic motivation can have negative effects. Particularly, when people are motivated by rewards for their behaviors it can have the unintended effect of (1) reducing their motivation to participate in the activity without the reward and (2) reducing their intrinsic enjoyment of the activity. Service can be extremely rewarding on it's own. Research has shown that people who volunteer have greater levels of life satisfaction than those who don't.

One person makes a difference
When I was a child our family constantly checked one book out of the library. I read this book over and over. To this day, I still think of that book when considering my actions and how they affect the world. The book is If Everybody Did by Jo Ann Stover. I was overjoyed a number of years ago to find it available on Amazon. It's great for young scouts, and I've even read it to my Senior Troop.
Through illustrations of common everyday childhood behavior, the book explores the effect that one person's actions could have if everyone behaved in the same way. While it is more of a cautionary tale about behaving properly, the lesson can easily be related to making the world a better place. With a world population of 7.3 billion, just imagine the impact if everybody planted a tree, or if everybody threw their trash on the ground.

Do It!
Make sure that service is an integral part of your troop's program. Whether your girls choose to make it a central purpose of the troop or whether you have some other focus, service projects should be incorporated into whatever you do. This can be as simple as cleaning the places you visit or donating some troop proceeds to a worthy cause. Just remind the girls during every activity to find a quick way to provide some service and you'll have them on the right track.

How does your troop make the world a better place? Share your experiences in the comments.

Smitty

References:
Cherry, Kendra. "Differences Between Extrinsic and Intrinsic Motivation." About.com, n.d. Web. 04 Aug. 2015. <http://psychology.about.com/od/motivation/f/difference-between-extrinsic-and-intrinsic-motivation.htm>.
Meier, Stephan, and Alois Stutzer. "Is Volunteering Rewarding in Itself?" Economica 0.0 (2007): 39-59. Web. <http://ftp.iza.org/dp1045.pdf>.
"How to Make the World a Better Place." WikiHow. N.p., n.d. Web. 04 Aug. 2015. <http://www.wikihow.com/Make-the-World-a-Better-Place>.

Building character

Girl Scout Mission

Girl Scouting builds girls of courage, confidence, and character, who make the world a better place.

The third facet of the mission statement is to build character. Girl Scout program has this in spades. Our promise and law serve as a basic character building foundation for the organization.

What exactly does the mission statement mean by "character"?

Merriam-Webster defines character as one of the attributes or features that make up and distinguish an individual. By this definition, everyone has their own unique character. Later on the same page we come across this definition: moral excellence and firmness.

While the latter definition more closely describes what we think of when we read the mission statement, we need to remember the earlier definition as well and understand that our job is to help girls develop their own unique self expression of moral integrity.

Use the Promise and Law
Can you and your girls recite the Girl Scout Promise from memory?
Can you and your girls recite the Girl Scout Law from memory?

Many of us would say yes to the first question, but no to the second. I've found that knowing the Girl Scout Law by heart has made it much easier to identify character building situations with the girls. When your girls need moral guidance to make a decision or resolve a conflict, a quick reference to the appropriate Girl Scout Law can help them to think through their response. Remember that these situations will rarely be planned. They will come up spontaneously in the course of your meetings and other activities. Being ready with a good knowledge of the Girl Scout Law will enable you to make good use of opportunities for character building.

Let Them Do It
Keep in mind that building our girls means letting them do things themselves to learn from the experience. Don't lecture the girls and tell them what is the right thing to do. Simply point out the appropriate Girl Scout Law and let them apply it. Not every moral dilemma has a straightforward or single right answer. By deliberating on the situation with the Law as a guide, the girls will be developing their own sense of character, not simply following your orders.

Set an Example
Careful the things you say, children will listen. Careful the things you do, children will see. And learn. - lyrics from Into the Woods by Stephen Sondheim

In the "Cookies" episode of the TV sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond, Ray gets into a war with his daughter's scout leader over cookie sales. In a climactic scene, Ray takes over the leader's top cookie boothing site. When she shows up at the booth they get into a fight. But before they do, they send their daughters away into the store to get ice cream. While I can hardly condone the behavior of the adults in this episode, at least they understood that this sort of stuff isn't the example you want to set for your children. I've seen some horrible behavior in front of girls over similar issues.

Don't forget to apply the Girl Scout Law to your own dealings with the troop and other adults. Perhaps the most common violation I see leaders make is to ignore the Law to "be a sister to every Girl Scout." One way we can show girls that we believe in this Law is to welcome new girls into the troop regularly. While I understand that troop size is limited by adult/girl ratios and meeting space size, we can show girls how to "be a sister" by allowing the troop to change and grow. It shouldn't be a clique that forms in first grade and doesn't welcome newcomers for 12 years. The challenges involved in getting along with different members - girls and their parents - can be tremendously character building.

How do you build character with your girls? Share your experiences in the comments.


Smitty

Building confidence

Girl Scout Mission

Girl Scouting builds girls of courage, confidence, and character, who make the world a better place.

The second facet of the mission statement is to build confidence. Confidence matches nicely with courage. When a girl is confident she needs less courage to move forward. When a girl lacks confidence, she will need to draw on her courage. Possessing both traits will help a girl to tackle whatever challenges she may face. 

So let's define confidence. While multiple definitions exist, this one seems to meet the meaning within the context of the Girl Scout Mission:

Merriam-Webster defines confidence as a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something. 

When I started this post, I thought I knew what I would write. Girls gain confidence by having skills. So be sure your program builds skills and you'll be building confidence. As I researched the topic of confidence, however, I found that the truth is much more complex than this and that confidence may be more important than I thought.

Consider the following scenario. You are staffing at a weekend camp with a group of girls. You have been setting up camp and are running out of time before you need to be at a scheduled activity. One tent still needs to be pitched and you are busy with another task. You ask the girls who knows how to put up the tent. One girl raises her hand high and says "Oh! I know how. I did that one over there," and points to a nicely pitched tent. Another girl says "Well, I helped with that one too, but I made a mistake once before, so I'm not so sure." Which girl will you put in charge?

If you're like most people, you'll choose the first girl, the one who projected confidence that she could do the job. In fact, research shows that people are often promoted or given opportunities more on the basis of their confidence than their actual competence. This is aggravated for women by the fact that there is a gender gap in confidence. Men and women with equal levels of competence are likely to have differing levels of confidence. Specifically, men are more likely to be overconfident in their abilities while women are more likely to underestimate themselves.

To build girls of confidence we need to provide ample program opportunities to build a wide variety of skills, but we also need to pay attention to how we structure our response to these activities so that they are confidence building.

Important keys to building confidence:

Risk-taking and failure
Confidence is directly related to taking action. A confident person is not afraid to take action when given an opportunity. This creates a feedback loop where that experience then helps to build more confidence. We need to let girls take risks and especially take the risk that they will fail at something. It is important when girls are learning new skills that we don't expect perfection and that we let them fail - possibly multiple times - so they learn that failure happens, but success will come with perseverance. Knowing that they can be successful, even after failing, will build confidence.

Praise and Criticism
The feedback that a girl gets while learning a new skill will also affect her confidence level. Research shows that women are likely to be perfectionists - having high confidence levels only when they feel they are perfect at something. This creates the situation indicated earlier where women's confidence levels are below their actual competence. It's important that our feedback helps girls to understand that they don't have to be perfect to feel competent. 

Praise should always be aimed at a girl's effort. Praise them for working hard, praise them for sticking with it, praise them for facing a failure courageously. Don't tell them they are smart, or "good at this." Children who receive praise for their effort end up believing that they control their acquisition of skills and knowledge and they will gain confidence that they can improve. Children who receive praise for innate ability end up believing that they don't have control. When they encounter hurdles, they may shut down and simply decide "I'm just not good at this," destroying their confidence.

Criticism should be constructive but present. In line with risk-taking and failure, it's important that a girl receives criticism and learns that she can work past it. Some psychologists believe that boys gain confidence through criticism and punishment in early school grades. They learn to be resilient in the face of criticism, which translates into confidence when faced with criticism later in life.

Do It!
A main focus of this blog. Building confidence will come from actually doing activities. These are the times when girls will choose to take risks and face failures. This is where girls will build skills that they know others don't have. Confidence is not built by reading about it or by talking about it, but by doing it.

Let's revisit the tent-pitching girls. It turns out that the two of them together put up that well-pitched tent. The second girl has a lot of experience and really knows how to pitch a tent, but her leader always hovers over her while she is working, points out every minor error, and expects perfection, so her confidence is low. The first girl has only put up one tent in her life, the one that the second girl just showed her how to pitch. But the two of them did it together, got past whatever problems they encountered, and she built confidence through her success and is eager to go again. Let them go at it again together with little supervision, tell them they worked hard and did a great job, and help them fix any major safety issues and you'll help them grow to the confident women we want them to be.

How do you build confidence with your girls? Share your experiences in the comments.

Smitty

References:
Katty Kay and Claire Shipman. "The Confidence Gap." The Atlantic. Atlantic Media Company, 14 Apr. 2014. Web. 14 July 2015. <http://www.theatlantic.com/features/archive/2014/04/the-confidence-gap/359815/>.
Barker, Eric. "How to Be More Confident: 5 Research Backed Methods." Time. Time, 30 Apr. 2014. Web. 14 July 2015. <http://time.com/81811/how-to-be-more-confident-5-research-backed-methods/>.